“People ask me, ‘How do you let them go?’ But in my mind, I know they’re not there to stay.”
Each time Sophia Harvey welcomes a foster child into her home, she prays for the same positive outcome: family reunification.
Harvey, a Commercial Banking relationship specialist with Regions, has fostered children for nine years with Youth Villages, a nonprofit helping children with emotional and behavioral challenges and their families live successfully.
“You hear some horrible stories about things children have gone through like losing a parent,” she said. “Stability is what I try to provide for them. They want to be part of a family. At first, a lot of children might not think they like structure, but we all need structure. And they then realize that’s love.”
At first, a lot of children might not think they like structure, but we all need structure. And they then realize that’s love.
Sophia Harvey, Commercial Banking relationship specialist with Regions
Harvey began exploring foster parenting around the time her son turned 30. It’s fair to say it wasn’t something previously on her radar.
“If someone had asked me if I’d be doing this years ago, I’d have told them, ‘You must be out of your mind,’” she said.
But as she learned more about fostering, Harvey’s heartstrings overrode any kind of logic.
“I told the Lord, ‘You blessed me to be able to take care of my son,’ and I got on this mission,” she said. “I went through the interviews and took all the classes to get my certification.”
Harvey is the first to tell you the role isn’t always easy.
“It can be very challenging,” she said. “When you bring a total stranger into your home, they don’t know you and you don’t know them. And you really don’t know a person until they live with you.”
Harvey typically has children live with her for shorter periods ranging anywhere from one week to 18 months. She focuses on introducing youth to new experiences across Memphis, Tennessee, and beyond while in her care.
“We go to the nursing home at least once a month to visit with residents,” she said. “We also go out into the neighborhood and help feed people. I try to be an example for them.”
Along with serving others, Harvey also makes having fun a priority.
“I take them shopping all the time,” she said. “I had one young lady who had never been on a train before, and another who had never been on a plane before. We went to Disney World.”
Local activities are part of the mix, too, thanks to fellow foster parent Brenda Brown. The two, who met seven years ago during a class, bring their children together for social events at church, painting parties and more.
Harvey and Brown turn to one another for advice and lean on each other as well.
“A lot of times Brenda is my sounding board,” said Harvey. “She’s my support person; someone I can talk to.”
“We work together, solve problems and just help each other out,” added Brown, who provides longer-term care and has legally adopted seven children in the 30-plus years she’s been a foster parent. “Sophia will lift you up with a scripture or prayer, especially if you’re going through anything. She has a heart of gold. She’ll give you anything you need.”
For children living with Harvey, that includes the comforts of having their own room with a large bed, sofa and TV – plus something far more.
“I focus on providing a safe haven where children are fed and loved for the time they’re with me,” she said. “A place they know someone truly loves them and cares about their well-being.”
I would encourage anyone who has the time, love and patience to do it.
Sophia Harvey
While children may leave Harvey’s home, they never leave her heart.
“The first child I fostered called me about five years later and that really touched me,” she said. “They become your family. When they go home, I miss them terribly. You want them to do well.”
For those considering becoming a foster parent, what insights would Harvey share?
“I would encourage anyone who has the time, love and patience to do it,” she said. “Fostering is so rewarding but it is hard work. I give it 110 percent; I have a passion for it, I really do. I get choked up talking about it because all children deserve to be loved.”